When I was studying psychology and counselling so many years ago, my lecturer repeatedly reminded us: The presenting problem is never the problem. It looks like the same mantra is applicable to coaching, especially after today’s tutorial on Human Needs and Drivers (CORE). When my client comes to me and shares his or her problem (presenting challenge) one of the things I could best do for him/her is to ask: What do you actually need? My client may not have a clue what she really needs and neither may I. As a guide and initial go-to, I am glad I was re-introduced to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – now revised and updated as Maslow’s NEW Hierarchy of Needs – and the generally recognized and accepted six key needs of humankind.

Now when my client shares a struggle or challenge, it is wise to dig deep and help my client discover where her needs actually reside using Maslow’s Hierarchy as a guide and somewhere to peg their presenting challenge. Though the Hierarchy is in layers and seems to climax with the need for self-transcendence (sounds a bit woo-woo and leaning on to a more philosophical/spiritual slant to me), the reality is our needs rise and ebb and are usually layered, with a specific area of need taking center stage at different times. When actively listening to my client, I guess being aware of these core needs and helping my client identify which need is seeking attention would be a good start in helping my client clarify what she really needs and work towards creating actions to address the need.

It was enlightening and scary to discover what is my present center stage need as I identified what I think are my present challenges/needs and saw that they basically call attention to my need for security (actually more for my family) and a restoration of my self-esteem via accomplishment of some challenging undertaking next year. Eliminating to a large degree the fear of lack and its consequences and the desire to prove myself by doing something new and challenging are definitely two areas of significance presently in my life and it was all exposed just by using Maslow’s Hierarchy. I wonder what will be exposed for my client, for her good, when we try to discover what needs are actually screaming to be met.

Next was a revisit to a seen but forgotten concept by Anthony Robbins (love his work and been a fan of his teachings for years) – the 6 Human Drivers which takes a different yet interlinked view of human needs presented by Maslow. I love the way the six drivers were presented via pictures and then the explanation that followed. Maslow revealed my needs and Robbins revealed the drive (the motivation) behind these needs. So not only do we have needs we seek to meet, we have drivers within us, conditions of life that spur us to take action. After teaching motivation for so long, it is refreshing and exciting to be reminded of these six intrinsic drivers we all have and that at certain times in our lives serve as the driving force for almost all our actions.

Again, all six drives do affect us but depending on the present context of my client, one of them may be the motivating force at the moment (which when identified will help shed light on the why and also the how related to my client’s challenge). Which of these six drivers is presently needed and drives my client to action? Haven’t figured out how actually these drivers will be introduced to my client and how to assist her in discovering the main driver in her life. Also wondering how all this information will be used to help my client bridge the GAP.

Was glad for the exercise during the web-torial that helped me see my desire for Significance is my present driver (no surprise here!). I remember in my early twenties devouring a book by McGee on Significance, struggling and finally dropping any intention to actively seek significance as the years progressed. It was amusing to discover deep inside I still yearn to be recognized, seen, heard and acknowledged. Hmm. Now to figure out how all this ties in with my present struggles and discouragement and what hope it offers. Thanks Robbins and Coach Mel for shining the light on this driving force/need in my life.

We then progressed to Tim Gallwey’s Inner Game concept, in particular the power of the inner voice and specifically the inner critical voice in opposition to the subconscious mind that is encouraging, positive and is our true self. I didn’t quite ‘get-it’ and may have to read Gallwey’s book to increase my understanding. For now, I believe that I need to be aware that my client (and I) struggle with an inner critic that interferes with her awareness and ability to acknowledge her needs and drives and create transforming action steps for her life.

I love the four questions we were given by Coach Mel to answer as we look at our own presenting challenges. They sting and challenge but also inspire and shed light on where we are presently stuck (great questions to ponder as we enter 2022). Here are the four questions:

What obstacles hold you back?

What lies are you telling your self?

What insights are you resisting to learn?

What strategies do I need to create to minimize interference?

As we came to the end of our lesson, I realized I had a lot to digest and in a way had just been coached by Coach Mel on what I will need to pay attention to and be aware of if I were to see my performance improve. As I reflect on 2021 and dream for 2022, I may need to steady myself and allow imagined ideal outcomes for 2022 to flood my mind, working hard to stem the tide of interferences (critical, demeaning inner voice) so that I have something to work towards. Identifying options, being aware of myself and my situation and embracing challenges 2022 will bring if I choose to pursue the imagined ideal outcomes looks like the bee’s nest I must hit hard if I want the sweet honey it offers.

With the need for restored esteem and driven for significance, I wonder what am I capable of?