Models For Coaching Effectively

I love models. They are so helpful in illustrating key points, determining main factors and milestones and serve as a faithful guide to the ignorant and struggling. Models show in a diagram or acronym each step required in the correct order, helping the user master the matter at hand, muster the right moves and march to the desired point confidently. These illustrated diagrams and cleverly constructed acronyms serve as a crutch to the new clumsy user of a technique or as a scaffolding to ease the effort to master a particular skill, highlighting the steps ahead. I concur fully with Coach Mel who made it clear that models serve to provide structure and give form to the principles and action steps required to master a certain skill. It may be adhered to strictly by the ignorant and fearful but loses its necessity when the model adherent becomes confident and skillful.

In a previous life as an English supertutor, I created and used a model to help my students know what was required of them to get an A* when writing a narrative. My pyramid had 5 blocks and each block contained some key words to guide the students, clueing them in as what to write next. As long as the used the pyramid to guide their narrative, questions like “What should I write?” and “What’s after this paragraph?” become rare. Once my students got a hold of this model, they problem was not “I don’t know what to write” or “You mean I have to write 450 words!” but “I’ve got so much to write!”. The model became rail tracks that helped my students stay on track but gave them enough freedom and traction to take them faster to unrealized narrative potential they had in them. That is the power of a good model.

Thus, it was not a surprise to know that countless models to facilitate excellent coaching and enable both coach and client go through a process that would enable the creation of a successful coaching experience have been created. Though having at our fingertips a gamut of coaching models may be a good thing, I find too many cooks spoil the broth and a kaleidoscope of models just create a muddled and confusing coaching practice. So, I was relieved when Coach Mel only introduced to us three coaching models – the all time favorite and ubiquitous model in the world of coaching – the GROW model – the OSCAR model and a model he recently picked up – the FUEL model. As you can see, these models scream of cute and memorable acronyms and limit the coaching process to around four to five steps. All this is to enable understanding and the memorizing of key steps in an effective coaching session.

These popular models help coaches answer standard key questions such as “How do I begin?” and “Where do I go next?” They also serve as hooks to hang key questions needed to be asked at the appropriate time in a session. Having a model is like having a map – it tells you where you are, where is your destination, the possible route you could take and the milestones along the way. This is so good and helpful for novice coaches find their footing, build their confidence and maybe even appear knowledgeable about what he is doing. But like my English students, these models do well in the beginning stages of learning and practice and as familiarity and confidence builds, the model is either assimilated and becomes second nature or it is abandoned for a more personalized model birth from the many sessions guided by a well known and accepted existing model.

The FUEL model is a very simple guide that help guide the client through four key aspects one needs to consider when desiring to make a strategic change in order to achieve a desired but yet to be achieved goal. I love its simplicity but feels it needs more steps to make the client’s transformation process more complete. So here are the four stages, cleverly created by the acronym FUEL:

• Frame – identify the starting point; the ‘you are here now’ awareness. “Where would you like to begin?” would be an appropriate question at this stage.
• Understand – the client is then assisted in identifying what is currently working (ok) in his life that would contribute to him achieving his desired goal and also the challenges (problems, lack etc.) he is facing that may hold him back. “What is currently a challenge you face?” would be an appropriate question at this stage.
• Explore – here the client is encouraged to go deep into seeing and creating his desired state. He is encouraged to be as clear as possible about the desired end. “How would your life look like when you achieve this goal?” would be an appropriate question at this stage.
• Layout Plan – lastly the client needs to get down to the nitty gritty of actually identifying and taking the necessary steps/actions to achieve the desired goal. A plan with a timeline and identified milestones along the way seems to be appropriate. “How are you going to achieve this goal?” would be an appropriate question at this stage.

Next, we have the OSCAR model. Personally, I like this model as I was able to use it rather easily when we were shuttled off into our breakout rooms to practice using one of the introduced models. I like the flow of thought, the logical steps it provided and the ease in remembering the coaching sequence. It also allows the client to take ownership and responsibility for their issues.

• Outcome – identify what the client wants to achieve, the focus of the session. Clarity for coach and client is the aim. “What would you like to achieve from this session? would be an appropriate question here.
• Scaling/Situation – helping your client be aware of her present situation and being able to quantify it (via scaling). “On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your current condition?” would be a suitable question at this stage.
• Choices (Know-How) – helping the client identify what internal and external resources she has available and the options in responding to her current situation; the client level of confidence and competence also needs to be considered. “What options are presently available for you?” would be an appropriate question at this stage.
• Actions/Affirm – assist the client to plan out a step-by-step action plan and to take ownership of the agreed action. These agreed actions are affirmed and the client is encouraged to act. ‘What will you do now?” would be an fitting question at this level.
• Review – regular progress reports to encourage on-going active ownership as well as the celebration of reaching identified milestones. “What actions have you taken to bring you closer to your desired outcome?” could be a question to be asked at this juncture.

Lastly, we have the GROW model, considered the most famous and widely used model not only in coaching and has encouraged spin-offs to accentuate the five key components. The model was created by Sir John Whitmore, made famous in his book Coaching for Performance (purportedly the world’ #1 Coaching book). This flexible framework aims to assist the client experience transformation as she turns intention into action.

• Goals – clear goals are set for the session as well as for the short and long term. A good question to use would be “What do you want?” Sir John Whitmore stresses that “the key to using GROW successfully is to spend sufficient time exploring “G” until the coachee sets a goal which is both inspirational and stretching for them.”
• Identify and clarify the goal
• Clear understanding of principal aims and aspirations
• Clarify desired result at the end 
• Reality – enabling the client to explore her current situation. “Where are you now?” is an appropriate question at this stage.
• Assess actions taken so far
• Identify results and effects of those actions
• Understand present internal and external blocks
• Options – identifying options and alternatives strategies or possible courses of action and then selecting one that the client is able and willing to do. “What could you do?” is a simple but powerful question for your client at this stage.
• Brainstorm possibilities and alternatives
• Outline and question strategies being considered
• Will – here is when intention is transformed into action as the client identifies what is to be done, When, by Whom and affirms the Will to do it. A question to get the ball rolling? “What will you do?”
• Understand and identify what can be changed
• Create a plan of action
• Identify possible obstacles
• Scale the level of commitment required
• Highlight how accountability and achievement of goals will be ensured.

 Wow, just going through these three models, I begin to see a pattern emerging; I see key components that seem important to be identified and used in a coaching session. I also see the creativity employed by the creator of these models and how each are slightly different as the aim is slightly different and the creator-user is unique. I guess it’s like identifying how to paint a house. Many models could be created but all would share similar components – type of paints, tools and what is painted – but as to where to start, how paint strokes are to be made and many other aspects, different models will present the painting process slightly different. Different strokes for different folks.

 

Purpose and The Ikigai (CORE)

This week’s lesson was on Purpose and the introduction of Ikigai as a possible template we could use to identify our purpose in life. This on the surface looks fine and dandy but underlying the lesson is the assumption that humankind has purpose – mono or multi – and it is to be discovered, assuming one is born unaware of this purpose all humans have. So where did this assumed belief come from and why is it a (presumably) globally accepted belief? I can only answer for myself.

The belief I had purpose was drummed in early in my life as a Christian. Not only did I have purpose but my purpose was predetermined by my Creator, who, when he created me, had a purpose for me to fulfil, a purpose that helped answer the question, “Why was I created and put on planet Earth?” or in more common terms, divine purpose is the answer to man’s perennial question, “Why am I here?”. This belief was clearly highlighted to me by the declaration God made to the prophet Jeremiah, revealing his purpose for this young Jewish man.

Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5)

So that was settled. I was created for a divine purpose. But discovering what it was wasn’t so easy – I did not enjoy the luxury of having God speak to me directly and audibly! The next clue came from a sentence the apostle Paul wrote to a Christian congregation in Ephesus. This sentence would eventually be a key guiding verse throughout my life when it came to the question of purpose.

For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them. (Ephesians 2:10)

Finally, I was getting some insight. God’s purpose for me was related to doing good works! It took some time to unravel what could possibly be in Paul’s mind when he used the phrase ‘good works’ but I boiled it down to three components. It was doing what God wanted (keep his commandments), benefitting other humans (work that was other-centered) and done excellently (doing my best in all I do). So, whatever my purpose was, it would be in line with God’s principles, benefit others and demand my best. Got it.

But there were no specifics yet. I could not say like Jeremiah, “My purpose is to be a prophet to the nations.” This need to be specific as to what actually was my God-given purpose only came about when I left school to serve in the Christian community (Church) full-time. I realized there were many things I could do – preach, feed the poor, teach Sunday School, go to Africa as a missionary etc. – so I inquired from the Being himself as to what his specific purpose for me might be. Raised in a Christian community that believed all communication between man and God was through the Bible, I began to read it eagerly, just as any university applicant would read letters from universities he had applied to, scanning to see the desired answer.

In a very short time I came across a verse (sentence) in the Bible that jumped out at me and I was convinced it was God’s answer to my question: What is your purpose for creating me? It was from an answer the prophet Samuel gave to Israel’s first king, Saul, when he was appointed sovereign over Israel.

I will instruct you in the way that is good and upright. (1 Samuel 12:23)

For the next 30 years I spent my life instructing (teaching) Christians on the many facets of their faith and had a blast. Teaching excited me and energized me. I found meaning in what I did and I never grew tired of the whole process required for every lesson to finally see the light of day. But all good things must come to an end. My days of service in the Christian community came to an end and I once again was confronted with the question: Why am I here and what am I to do with my life?

By now, I was married and I remember my wife and I taking a few days to ruminate on this question in our favorite place here in Malaysia – Cameron Highlands. Holed up in a cheap motel, under thick blankets, I pored over a book that promised to help me discover my purpose – What Color Is Your Parachute by Richard Bolles – and help me discover a lifetime of meaningful work and career success. There were a lot of exercises requiring much thought and soul searching. The results were disappointing – teaching seemed to be my best option! Duh!

Since that mountaintop revelation I have had opportunities to teach (instruct) in various forms – International School English teacher, English super tutor, certified trainer, motivational speaker, author - to name a few but it all revolved around my now accepted and believed divine purpose – to instruct/teach.

As I continued to manifest my purpose, a new question popped into my mind that demanded an answer – Why was I teaching? What was my ultimate purpose behind every instruction? To find the answer, I just had to look back at all the teaching opportunities I had and identify the shared motivation and/or desired outcome I had for all my students. It was clear. I was teaching with the purpose of assisting my students to excel, to unlock their potential, to be the best they were able to. Then it all made sense. Samuel made a commitment to King Saul to assist him be the best king he could be and so did I for all my students.

Now my purpose began to change, to broaden in scope yet provide me the parameters I needed to always be within my God-given purpose. I came to see and embrace my purpose as follows: to assist others to be the best they can be especially through the many forms of teaching/instruction giving. Today, whatever I finally agree to do and it allows me to fully manifest this purpose, I find myself excited and empowered, fulfilled and fruitful. My purpose has served as a guiding light at every career pivot or when I am overwhelmed by depression or experiencing a sense of ‘lostness’. Reminding myself of why I am here and taking small possible steps towards my purpose always restores stability, hope and energy in me.

I also believe purpose is not so much discovered as created. What is discovered is the many elements that make up the creation of your purpose but finally you are the one who comes to some kind of conclusion and formulate a sentence or two as to what all you discovered seem to say about your purpose. This is why I think almost all the books and articles I have read on ‘discovering’ your purpose end up giving you a bunch of questions to guide you towards what you have and like and what you can do and contribute to society for good (good works). With a clearer and better understanding of yourself and all that makes you unique, you then would be better able to be a contributing human on this planet. Almost all life-purposes I have heard tend to have the elements of linking one’s unique gifting with one’s contribution to the betterment of at least another human.

This then is a good place to comment on Ikigai, a Japanese concept that roughly translates ‘that which gives your life purpose’. It’s similarity to the French concept of “raison d’etre” has sparked accusations that the key writers who created and popularized Ikigai modified or blended this French concept with key ideas practiced by the Japanese (especially those in Okinawa). But putting that aside, Ikigai covers the two key elements of purpose i.e. bringing meaning to your life while also contributing to the good of others. It also shares the belief that everyone has a purpose in life and deep self-reflection effort is required to discover it.

To guide us in discovering our Ikigai, four spheres of life need to be considered:

• What you love – what you do/experience that brings most joy in life and makes you feel most alive and fulfilled
• What you are good at – anything you are particularly good at including talents and skills
• What the world needs – ‘world’ here could refer to humankind in general or a niche group and our assumed or their mentioned need
• What you can get paid for – what someone else is willing to pay you for, depending on the demand for what you offer and the economic state of the people in question

It is clear you will need time to reflect and research to provide relevant answers to all four areas in order for you to piece together the jigsaw and conclude what is the something you are passionate about, good at and the world needs now and for which someone will pay you. I believe in my own pursuit to identify my Ikigai, I have looked at 3 of the spheres – love, good at, needed by the world – but I have rarely if ever considered someone paying me for it. My struggle with imposter syndrome and self-limiting belief that what I offer has very little financial worth has limited me from making money from my Ikigai and has left me struggling financially often.

If I were to embrace this Japanese concept (which I have problems doing due to my aversion to all things related to Eastern ideologies and philosophies) then I think I would need to add the following to my purpose: to assist others to be the best they can be especially through the many forms of teaching/instruction giving and be paid for it.

It is clear then that we have purpose, we discover and create it and our accepted purpose gives us meaning and energy for life. As coaches, I then conclude that coaching should align with our purpose and enabling our clients discover their purpose could be a key factor in assisting them be who they want to be.