Overwhelming. Daunting. Challenging.
These three
words describe what I felt and thought as I went through this week’s web-torial
covering Core Competency 7 – Evokes Awareness. There was so much information
and must-do’s to understand and it made sense why when I learnt that this ‘new’
competency is a combination of three competencies from the former ICF
Competency Model! As the information piled up, my sense of dread increased,
wondering how will I be able to remember all that was required of me and then
to do as required. This led me to conclude (again?) that coaching will not be a
walk in the park but a (mental?) marathon requiring lots of practice and active,
consistent participation in coaching. Though still in a contemplative state, I
am thankful for this realization.
Questions.
Questions. Questions.
Personally
I think the title for the lesson would better reflect its content if it was
reworded to say Evokes Awareness via Powerful Questioning. It is a pity Core
Competency 6 in the older version – Powerful Questioning – was absorbed into
the present Model. Questioning is the standard go-to identifying characteristic
when coaching is mentioned. Any surface knowledge of coaching will quickly
reveal the ubiquitous usage of questioning in all coaching sessions. Books and
mentors exhort and emphasize the importance and techniques of questioning. So
it strikes me odd that such a key element is absorbed into a bigger topic
focusing on the result of questioning – awareness.
Know.
Understand. Act.
It seems
that the new version of this competency draws attention more to the desired
results of the coaching session – awareness – rather than the tool used to
produce the results – questioning. Awareness to me means helping the client to
(maybe for the first time) know what she is actually thinking, believing or
even saying. The coach then is to work with the client to understand this
revelation – to identify its key components, causes and players – in order to
conclude with a desired action (the goal of the coaching endeavor). This
process may take time and requires the coach to listen attentively in order to
be aware of the real/underlying story and to bring that to the surface for the
client. To be able to do this successfully is to be able to successfully evoke
awareness.
I also
realized the awareness a coach is to evoke encompass his own awareness as well
as the awareness of the client. Being in the moment, sensitive to what is being
experienced in all parts of our being – body, soul, spirit – while drawing
insights that would help the coach manage himself as well as contribute to the
client is also a part of the awareness exercise. A challenge I think I will
need to control is the excitement to create conclusions for the client with the
rising awareness being created especially if I feel the client is not getting
it. Yet, I need to remember, the path ahead is created by the client without
any interference or inference from me as to where that path should be carved
out.
In the
definition for Evokes Awareness, ICF cleverly combines the desired result of
coaching – creating CLIENT insight and learning – and the tools a coach will
use to do so – powerful questioning, silence, picture words (metaphor and
analogy). I find helping the client gain insight and learn exciting and
challenging because it’s a new skill for me and a life transforming experience
for the client. What makes it challenging for me, I conclude, is the heavy
dependence of powerful questioning which is a whole new world to me, a skill to
be developed and wisely employed. And that is what I felt I did not get enough
from this week’s web-torial: How to create powerful questions?
Looking at
the eleven sub-points for this competency, it becomes clear almost all of them
requires questioning! To be aware of the client’s experience you would need to
ask questions. To challenge the client you would need questions. Sub-point 3
and 4 begins with the words ‘Asks questions’! To invite a client to share
requires questions as well as when seeking to help the client identify
influencing factors in her life. As such, I hope there will be some lessons in
the future focused only on Questioning to help increase my understanding and
confidence in creating and using Powerful Questioning.
Though not
really highlighted during this week’s web-torial, I was made aware again of the
need to be silent (to listen one must shut his mouth), to be comfortable with
silent waiting, allowing the client to ruminate and resolve what was brought up
through powerful questioning. As clearly pointed out in my first practicum,
this is an area of weakness I will need to work on. This silence I believe also
covers inward silencing of mental chatter and creating an inner calmness,
waiting expectantly for revelation to emerge from the client.
Picture
words. Love them. Experience as an English teacher and my interest in beautiful
words lends a joyful lift to my spirit when I realized metaphors and analogies
is a key tool in helping my client become aware. A picture does paint a
thousand words and days when I am able to create a suitable picture word to
encapsulate key yet difficult concepts that helps my student get it, I am
engulfed in relief and celebratory joy. I look forward for similar episodes
with my future clients, seeing the light come on in their mind and the smile of
recognition on their faces.
I am also intrigued
by the concept of asking questions to lead the client out of her present
situation (the box she is in) into the possible and desired future. Many of my
questions in the past have been to help my client review her past or present
situation but I can’t remember having asked many questions that leads my client
to imagine a future, to create a future or to be aware of a future not tainted
by her past and present situation. Maybe it’s because it’s a difficulty I have
and something I am still working to overcome by realizing and embracing truths
that my future is not determine by my past and the factors that affected me in
the past and present may not exist in the future, thus giving me opportunities
to create a different (new?) future.
All talk,
no action.
This is a
trap I must not fall in when coaching. If no tangible action is actually taken
after much effort from coach and client to generate awareness, then coaching
just becomes an elevated chit-chat session. Maybe ”So what will you do this
week?” would be a suitable question to ask after an a-ha moment occurs to help the
client ‘generate ideas about how they can move forward and what they are
willing or able to do’. I just love this sub-point as it takes the whole
creating awareness exercise to a higher level. Awareness is not the end-all but
the required platform for the next step – transformative action. This I believe
is the ultimate goal of coaching and to not use powerful questioning to help
the client come to this stage is such a waste. I am glad that ‘ideas’ is
written in plural for indeed there actually is more than one way to skin a cat!
This gives the client options and hope that a way forward is available – she
just has to select one of many. And how to know which path to select? “Which
path are you willing or able to do?” Maybe this will be acknowledged as a powerful
question, a question that not only helps the client select but also be
confident that the path she has selected is do-able.
To end my
rambling assessment, I must say that I am slightly relieved that a little room
is provided for the coach to speak and to share input without using questions
(and yes, I know, speak briefly even so) by sharing ‘observations, insights and
feelings, without attachment (need to understand this phrase more) which
generates more awareness for the client’. I believe (correct me if I got this
wrong) certain life experiences of the coach when shared at the right time
could help bring clarity and insight for the client. I also think this last
sub-point gives room to the coach to bounce off the client what he senses as he
hears the client speak, watches her facial and body movements as well as any
changes in her energy level and tone of voice, to ascertain its validity as
well as help the client see what others see which she may be oblivious to.
Again, all this to create awareness for the client to generate insight and
learning.
As I type
all this, the image of a wise master in some far away temple, in white robes
stroking his white beard, listening to an impatient, sobbing youth as he pours
out his woes comes to mind. All the time the master is silent. Finally when the
youth is all done and all has quieten down, the master walks away, stares at
the stars and after a protracted silence, turns and asks a powerful question.
An amazing adventure begins (for the youth). A picture of coaching?
No comments:
Post a Comment