Know Your Label, Identify Your Function

“Who are you?”

“What do you do?”

These two important life questions seems to be the focus of this week’s lesson titled Coaching 101. To provide the answer for the eager aspiring wannabe coaches, several exercises were conducted to assist them to discover what a coach is and what a coach does by comparing the differences between coaching, mentoring and counseling.

To begin, I must say that it is clear all three modalities have many common features (thus at times confusing the inquirer), something cleverly highlighted by the four pictures of persons in conversation at the beginning of the lesson. Here then are some ways these practices overlap:

• Relies on communication (conversation)
• Interpersonal sensitivity and relationship important
• All are helping professions focusing on the client’s well being
• Seeks to improve human performance
• Provides direction and solutions (directly or indirectly)

I believe these different modalities exist because they seek to provide assistance for different aspects of human wellness and achievement, useful in different situations, goals and needs. A different hat for a different occasion. As such, it also makes sense that each practice has its own distinct differences and benefits.

Knowing these differences apparently is very important for a coach as a failure to know when she is doing what, could lead to legal complications! Let me explain. The International Coach Federation (ICF) is exceptionally mindful in creating a clear delineation between coaching and counseling, giving this warning to all coaches: “No coach should ever provide unlicensed counseling.” Instead, coachees who seem to require counseling must be referred to a licensed health professional.

To add to the mud-clear differences of each practice, it seems that there is no agreed standard agreement concerning what each modality can or cannot do and what are the clear cut characteristics they possess. In other words, when addressing the differences between coaching, mentoring and counseling, we might not all be on the same page.

After saying that, here’s my take on what is coaching, mentoring and counseling – the differences and benefits of each beautiful human assistance model.

 COACHING

“Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential” – the official ICF definition.

Coaching is a collaborative effort where the agenda and change process is co-created for the achievement of the coachee. Together, coach and coachee look for solutions and identify the coachee’s capacity for change. In other words, a coach is a human potentialist and the coachee is the wholesome human, being assisted to identify and exploit her potential of choice.

I find it interesting that a coach is not expected to have all the answers but he is expected to master the use of questions from a curious stance to clarify the coachee’s thoughts and provoke her thinking in a growth-oriented direction that she chooses.

To highlight the effectiveness of questions in assisting the coachee to be aware of possible available solutions (especially in him and around him), the Talking Circle and Coaching Circle exercises during this session was very effective.

In the Talking Circle a student’s problem was identified and solutions were offered by fellow students. The results? Lackluster response with many of the solutions either identified or applied with very little desired results. Not a very effective way in helping someone identify a solution he could use to achieve his set goal.

In the Coaching Circle, another student’s problem was highlighted and fellow students asked questions to challenge and to provoke ideas and possibilities untried. The student was more enthusiastic, excited with possibilities created by some of the questions and was overall more positive. Aah, the power of asking the right questions!

MENTORING

“A relationship between two people where the individual with more experience, knowledge, and connections is able to pass along what they have learned to a more junior individual within a certain field” – a definition from the World Education Services (WES).

A long term relationship, mentoring is usually done by a senior experienced professional who offers advice to a less experienced but developing junior. It is a common method for new employees to be absorbed into the system and to assist workers rise up the ranks quickly.

The relationship between mentor and mentee is informal and the exchange of valuable information and skills can happen in various settings. The meeting agenda is decided by the mentee as well as the development-based questions. The mentee’s common aim is to follow in the footsteps of her mentor.

Mentoring is heavily dependent on the advice given by the mentor from his personal and professional expertise, received unhindered because of the mentee’s personal familiarity and professional admiration of the mentor. The mentor is not required to have any training – his life and/or professional experience is sufficient.

This modality is development driven, seeking to equip junior/novice workers to succeed in areas the mentor is already a success in.

COUNSELING

Counseling involves “helping people with physical, emotional, and mental health issues improve their sense of well-being, alleviate feelings of distress, and resolve crises.” – a definition by American Psychological Association (APA).

Counseling follows a medical model and strict confidentiality is maintained as long as a relationship exist (even the law cannot compel counselor’s conversations with his patient).

The often long term relationship between counselor and counselee is strictly restricted to the agreed sessions usually in a specified place (counselor’s office for example).

Counseling sessions are usually retrospective with a focus on healing maladaptive behavior, recovery from trauma and relief from psychological suffering. In short, sessions are aimed at identifying cognition and psychological impact on the mental health of the counselee and prescribing solutions resulting in psychological well-being.

The counselee is s assumed to have a decreased level of personal functionary, requiring the counselor’s expertise and many years of training. As such, the counselor is required to have a Master’s degree, accepted credentials and a license to practice.

 

To sum it up and to assist those who more visual when it comes to learning and memorization, here are three diagrams to help you (and me) see the differences and benefits of coaching, mentoring and counseling.

And I just love the simplicity and content all wrapped up in this diagram that was shown during class but its a keeper.

Then, as we approached the end of this lesson, we were introduced to Dr. Marcia Reynolds and a phrase ascribed to her: Coaching is a Learning Technology. I made an effort to Google this phrase only to find it referred in passing in some of her interviews and videos but no articles specifically expanding this concept were found. But all was not loss, as our instructor for the day revealed the three components embedded in this concept, saying it revealed the three necessary skills when asking questions during a coaching session. They are:

• Ask and then listen intently to what is said by the coachee (“learn to deeply listen with no judgement”).
• Clarify what was said, all the while discerning what the coachee is actually seeking to reveal. Here intuition plays a vital role ("regulate their emotions to maintain trust”).
• Challenge the coachee to take action on solutions that were discovered while giving intense affirmation for every decision made and step taken (“use reflective inquiry to change minds for good”).

(Note: words in bracket & italic sourced from Dr Marcia’s website https://covisioning.com/about-marcia/)

I hope these three components will be expanded in upcoming lessons and its practice in the coaching exercise made clear.

But who is Dr Reynolds and why is her phrasal concept a key lesson for this session? She is the 5^th global chair of the International Coaching Federation and one of only 25 people in this world to become a Master Certified Coach! She’s a Leadership and Executive Coach and a trainer specializing in mastering coaching skills. Convinced coaching trains people to change their own minds and behavior, she was hooked. After 25 years of coaching, she wants to bring the techniques she has learnt to other coaches. Her usage of reflective inquiry I suspect is where the idea that “coaching is a learning technology” can be found. This suspicion is further strengthen by the description of her work, found in her website www.covisioning.com which describes Dr Reynolds as ‘the master of teaching others how to engage in powerful conversations that connect, influence and activate change’. Her latest international bestseller, Coach the Person, Not the Problem, is a wisdom chest on the art of asking questions. A must read! It’s no wonder Dr Reynolds has been presented as one of our models.

As I end this week’s assessment, my takeaway is:

• Be clear as mud what you do and don’t as a coach, avoiding slipping in mentoring and God forbid, counseling!
• Don’t give solutions or advice; ask questions that provoke your coachee to discover her potential within
• Brush up on the wisdom behind Dr Reynolds phrase “Coaching is a Learning Technology”. It will pay to read her books and listen to audio and visual recordings of her talks and teachings.