So What Is Coaching?

So what is coaching all about? For some it seems to be a partnership that seeks that help identify and release one’s potential, an assisted awakening or personal enlightenment and for others it is an act of discovery – of oneself, one’s path, one’s desired future – with a trusted companion or guru through a series of interactive communication sessions. I wonder how you would describe coaching as you understand it to be?

It seems that coaching is a unique partnership, akin to a pair of dancers, where two individuals flow freely, responding to each other’s actions, all the while having fun. What makes this partnership unique is that it’s a dance of two equals, no one seeking to one up the other or to display one’s prowess, but a desire to together move in a direction that will benefit both parties involved.

To create such a partnership, the relationship between a coach and coachee is built on trust. To be trusted with another’s inner world with all its secrets and struggles and to enter into the coachee’s world as a guiding light is both an honor and a sacred responsibility. As a coach, it is an honor to be invited to journey with my coachee, to walk with him to the edge of life and to provide the courage to take another step into brand new worlds that awaits him. As such, being a trustworthy coach and being able to honor the trust entrusted is, I believe, the holy calling and responsibility of every coach.

On this road together, the journey will have its twist and turns, for the journey of life is never a straight path. What makes it so exhilarating is taking this journey with another and together discovering all one can be, the barriers to being all one can be and the many possibilities for overcoming these barriers. Even more exciting is where these discoveries will take my coachees to - places never imagined, scary, yet providing room for endless discoveries and growth. Every long journey has its milestones – pit stops in time that peg a priceless lesson, emote feelings that so easily bubble up or a memory that is far more precious than a Kodak photograph from times past – and as a coach I have the joy of being part of this and being the cheerleader who never forgets to celebrate these small wins, because life is actually a collection of a million small victories. As a coach, I have a part in this celebration of life (note to self: learn to celebrate).

What has challenged me in being a coach is to welcome each coachee as a whole person, creative and resourceful. In short, I am to embrace my coachee as a whole, a in-good-order human being who has amazing solutions within him for overcoming the challenges he faces in becoming who he wants to be and arriving where he wants to be at. This means changing my perspective of my coachee – not as someone who is broken who needs fixing – and my role – not as the fixer, savior, and/or solution giver of my coachee but a guiding light helping my coachee discovers what’s already in him! This is just so new (even almost unbelievable) and liberating to me, to believe that as a coach I am just a light, showing my coachee where his treasures are and encouraging him to take them out and use them for his benefit and the good of others. I no longer need to think of solutions or fear failing to solve my coachee’s problems but instead I can look forward to discovering with him amazing solutions from his own treasure house!

To do this I get the opportunity to be intuitive, curious and brave. I too am presented with the opportunity to trust myself and the treasures I have within me, to bring them out to assist my coachee as I listen to my inner guiding voice. It is only when I trust my inner voice and listen to it will my coachee trust her inner voice and listen to it! Curiosity is a challenge for me as I respect other people’s boundaries and life stories, believing I have the right to know more about my coachee as and when she chooses to share her life stories with me. Even so as a coach, who has a genuine care and desire for my coachee’s growth, I know I will need to give myself permission to respectably inquire for clarification and understanding of aspects of my coachee’s past and inner life to enable me to dance better with her. This needs courage. As a coach, there will be times I will need to step up and ask the tough questions and talk about the sensitive elephant in the room as well as to prod my coachee gently forward (knowing well she may be upset or react in unwelcome ways).

A coach is a dance partner, a companion along one’s winding journey through life, who acts as a guiding light for his coachee in discovering herself and the many worlds that awaits her. It is an exhilarating journey with reasons to celebrate and be courageous. It’s walking with another in confidence and trust, expecting the best from oneself and creating the best for oneself together. Care to dance with me?